My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That accounts for only three of the penises
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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