new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize