So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
