I wish my penis had an off switch
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
