No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
