She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We have so much sex to catch up on
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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