HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my being single is dangerous.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
