we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
