I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
