Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
