At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.