No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...