Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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