remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
