I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Nicole vs. Life
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
