dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
