Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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