I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize