Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
