i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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