When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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