Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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