I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
