I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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