Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just google imaged poop.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
