i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
