Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
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As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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