Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
