so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
