We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
