Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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