i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You need Xanax blowdarts
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize