No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
