Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
