is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
