just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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