Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
