he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
