Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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