Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Boobs speak an international language.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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