thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
