Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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