This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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