Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
