So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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