he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
smell my finger.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
