good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's great music for shaving your balls
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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