i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
