Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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