I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
PANTIES FOUND
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