The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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