There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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