At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
