Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
