Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
