The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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