Ambien. No doubt about it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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