She is in my trunk
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
